At the end of November I became suddenly acutely ill and for somebody who hadn’t been to a medical doctor since I was in a monastery over forty years ago, my initial response is that ‘I’ll get through this myself.’ Even though the pain was relentless and intense, I stuck to the determination ‘I can ride this storm’ like many other emotional storms I had endured in my lifetime. I stopped eating and was not sleeping. On the third day, under pressure from my long-suffering wife, I went to a local doctor, but, unfortunately, was misdiagnosed and the prescriptions given only exacerbated the illness. Of course, this outcome copper fastened my notion that this is something I can get through myself. Three weeks passed, with no return of appetite, continued insomnia and weight loss of three stone.

We are not born homosexual, heterosexual, transsexual, etc; no, we are born sexual. In the same way we are not born carnivores, vegans, vegetarians; no, we are born with an appetite. Sexuality not only ensures the survival of the human species, it also is the most powerful way to attract a member of the same or opposite gender. Whilst both heterosexuality and homosexuality involve sexual pleasuring between two males or two females or a male and female, its presence is principally about finding a total relationship with the same or opposite gender person. We all know in heterosexual relationships (can we please drop the word ‘straight’) that whilst sexual attraction is what can initiate the relationship, it is love, friendship, companionship, shared ideas, creativity, interest in each other’s lives that determines the endurance of the relationship. Ultimately, what is most likely to determine the longevity of a relationship – of whatever adult nature – (can we also please resist using the denigrating term LGBT – lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual) – is the degree that each party to the relationship comes into consciousness of his or her own wholeness and that of his or her partner.

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