It is important that parents enquire of each child how does (s)he feel about going back to school; this is also true for teenagers.  However be sure your enquiry is open-ended and that it has no hidden agenda which young people are very quick to spot.  An open question is not invasive whereas a closed one can be intrusive.  Children and teenagers are entitled to their own private world and the idea is that you knock on that door with an open question rather than barging in with a closed one.  Examples of open questions are: ‘How are you today?’; ‘How was your day?’; ‘What are your thoughts on going back to school.’  Examples of closed questions are: ‘Are you going to get down to your studies this year?’; ‘Are you dreading going back to school;’ ‘How do you feel about your new teacher.’  Closed questions are well-intentioned but the difficulty is that they are about the questioner’s agenda and not the child’s or teenager’s agenda.

It is not that long ago when it was believed that female brains did not have the capacity to learn science, physics and higher mathematics. Over the last number of years females are outscoring males across all school subjects and rather than males admitting that they got it wrong and engaging in a celebration of female academic achievements, there appears to be a threat among the male population of previously male-dominated professions – most notably medicine.

There are some teachers I know who believe that ‘I have a thing about teachers.’ There are two responses to that, one, the teacher who says that has ‘a thing’ themselves about teaching and, two, my own position is that I actually have great regard for the teaching profession and I view it as a vocation rather than a career. I also believe that teachers, vice-principals (better title here is ‘deputy’ rather than ‘vice’ (this word has too many associations with evil) and teachers need all the training, help and support in the carrying out of their responsibilities in the face of the ever-increasing challenging responses of students, parents and, sometimes, colleagues.

The more common reality in relationships is co-dependence between the two parties involved; a mutual leaning on one another for a sense of security. Many of us emerge from childhood having learned that to be independent and self-reliant is highly dangerous both emotionally and socially; cleverly, we conformed to the projections of the adults in our lives – we either leaned on them or allowed them to lean on us. In protecting ourselves from the threats of rejection, criticism, ridicule, even violence, we subconsciously fashioned a persona that primarily operated from the outside- in rather than from the inner stronghold of the inside-out. We necessarily conformed to the dependent behaviours of our parents, teachers and other significant adults and, sometimes, we rebelled; conformity and rebelliousness being opposite sides of the same coin of dependence.

Female bullying is on the increase in Ireland according to a study carried out by the National University of Ireland, Galway in collaboration with the World Health Organisation. This increase contrasts with a decrease in most other countries. The reasons for the increase in girls bullying are not clear and many hypotheses are being put forward – most especially, the move towards an equal and unisex society. Whilst societal changes may be the circumstances in which bullying occurs, it is an individual girl that actually does the bullying! To lay responsibility on society effectively takes away responsibility for one’s actions from the individual who perpetrates the threatening behaviour.