No matter where you are or what you are doing, whether you are alone or with others, you are always in relationship.  Typically, we think of relationship in terms of intimate relationships between, for example, lovers or spouses or parent and child.  However, different types of relationships occur in all places where individuals live, work, play and pray and these liaisons require as much attention as those relationships between intimates.  Indeed, with what has transpired within church, banks, government, public bodies and sporting bodies, there is an urgent need to address the quality of relationships within these social systems.  The depersonalisation, narcissism, individualism, cover-ups of abuse, mis-use of taxpayers’ monies, greed, cosy circles of deceit and superiority are just some examples of the extreme failures in relationships that have emerged – and the uncovering is not even remotely over.  Sadly, it is still the case that the most dangerous place to be is the family.  Schools, too, need to address the issue of relationship first, education second, as there are many students who complain of anonymity and teachers who are highly stressed due to an examination-result fixated mentality.  The social and economic crises we are currently undergoing here and elsewhere indicate that education has proven to be no reliable index of maturity.

Life is a mystery; our presence is a mystery and it is highly unlikely that we will ever in one lifetime find all the answers.  Indeed, because the universe continues to expand all of the time, the mystery deepens and, so, in many ways will always remain elusive – somewhat like the search for one’s own soul, one’s deep emotional self.  Is it then better not to question; just live for today and not be concerned about the deeper questions.  In my opinion it is certainly wise to live for today but I do need to question as if I am going to live forever. 

In my recent book The Compassionate Intentions of Illness I quote a passage from D.H. Lawrence on ‘Healing’:

                    I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.

                    And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly that I am ill.

                    I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self.

                    And the wounds to the soul take a long, long time, only time can help.

                    And patience, and a certain difficult repentance

                    long  difficult repentance, realization of life’s mistake, and the freeing

                        of oneself

                     from the endless repetition of the mistake

                     which mankind at large has chosen to sanctify.

What does Lawrence mean by the word ‘mistake’ and the sanctification of that mistake?  My own interpretation is that the mistake – best written mis-take – refers to how from so early on in our lives we are mistaken for our particular qualities or behaviours and that confusion of our soul, our true emotional self with such phenomena are deep wounds to the unique self that is each one of us.

It is now generally accepted that those in positions of power during the ‘boom’ times – in governments, banks, other financial institutions, property development – did not exhibit mature management or leadership. The position is quite clear; either they knew what was going on and didn’t do anything about it or they didn’t know what was going on and, thereby, were not up to the jobs they were in. Either way, any crisis – and this has been major and has drastically affected people’s lives and may be a factor in the observed dramatic increase in suicide – there is an opportunity to learn from what has happened and set the solid foundations for future emotional, social and economic wellbeing for all citizens here and, indeed, elsewhere. I emphasise ‘all’ because what has emerged is that a dark narcissism had deeply infected the actions of the major players in the economic upturn and downturn.