The recession has brought to light the darkness of the narcissism, individualism, greed, avarice, depersonalisation, denial that has crippled many national economies. There developed a quiet suffocation of individuality, authenticity and accountability in many workplaces – most notably financial institutions and health services. Furthermore, the target-fixated mentality in many multi-nationals led to serious depersonalisation of employees and the emergence of an unprecedented level of bullying and passivity.

Recently a Greek friend enquired was I writing a new book.  I told him I had several in mind but what was really grabbing my attention was to write a book called “No Smoke Without Fire”.  Apparently, and as I soon learned, that saying is also popular in the Greek language and so he got my drift immediately and talked about the fire down below that needs attention.  I asked him did he smoke?  Curiously, his reply pointed to a possible hidden fire when he said: “Yes, but never in front of my mother”!  “And how old are you”, I replied.  “Thirty years” and paused and quickly cottoned on to the age question: “Oh, you psychologists always put everything down to mothers”.  Of course, what was interesting that it was his response that brought up the issue of his relationship with his mother and his remaining stuck in a child-parent relationship and having not yet established an adult-adult relationship with her.  I had noticed earlier how he had been somewhat panicky about having missed his daily routine time to ring his wife and his going for a cigarette immediately following the belated phone call.  All the indications – and these were only a few passing observations – that smoking certainly appears to be a case for him of ‘no smoke without fire’.

No matter where you are, what you are feeling, what you are thinking, what you are doing, whether you are alone or with another, or in a crowd, you are always in relationship. Whatever the relationship, it is always a couple relationship. Whatever the relationship, whether this is a parent with child, a lover with a lover, a teacher with a student, a manager with an employee, a politician with a citizen, a priest with a parishioner, a neighbour with a neighbour. Each couple relationship is unique so that each child has a different mother and a different father, each student has a different teacher, each employee a different manager, each parishioner a different priest and so on for all relationships.