Some children dread and hate returning to school due to a fear of a renewal of bullying by their peers and, sometimes, by a teacher. Their progress educationally and socially can be severely interrupted by their response to the bullying behaviour. What I find most disturbing is that so many children or teenagers do not report these threats to their wellbeing to their parents or school Principal or empathic teacher. This passivity is very akin to those individuals in their late teenage years who experience depression and do not seek help from the significant adults in their lives or, indeed, health professionals. It has to mean that they feel that they either won’t be listened to or that they will be ridiculed for not standing up for themselves.

There is a friend of mind who is an avid reader and who kindly sends me quotes from writers whose thoughts touch her inner life.  A recently sent quote resonated with me:

                                              “The more we recognise the neglected and unseen

                                                dimensions of our lives, the more enriched and

                                                balanced we become” (John O’Donohue, Echoes)

John’s words capture beautifully the unconscious (the ‘unseen’) nature of qualities of our true nature that when children were not lovingly held and out of fear of further rejection we buried – put out of consciousness – those riches. 

It did not come as a surprise to me to read recently in the Irish Times that over the last twelve months the ombudsman received over 7,000 complaints from the besieged clients of financial institutions.  What did surprise me was the ombudsman naming financial institutions as the ‘culprits’, rather than individuals within these organisations.  I have written and spoken about it many times that organisations – political, economic, social, religious and educational – cannot perpetrate neglect.  An organisation has no head, no heart, no arms and legs and no voice.  How then can I challenge an organisation about bullying and intimidating practices?  The simple answer is that ‘I can’t’.  What I can do is confront the individual heads and managers or other staff members who threaten the wellbeing of their clients. What is alarming is that, no doubt, the 7,000 complaints represent only the tip of the iceberg of cold and heartless practice.

Many books have been written on how to influence others and how to convince others about your beliefs, values and opinions. However, whenever you attempt to persuade another, and some people go to the point of being aggressive in their communication, you are spilling the beans on the fact that you are not at all convinced by what you are saying to another! It follows that it would appear that you have not got through to yourself and your attempt to convince another mirrors an unsureness within that needs your attention.